Pièce de théâtre produite en atelier Théâtre et improvisation en anglais – classe de 3ème

Camylia, in the video, reading from a piece of paper, behind her Raphael is pacing up and down : Here Mrs. Redson. I don’t have a lot of time so I’m going to be short. If you see this video, It’s not a good sign. I discovered a big secret that the government doesn’t want people know. They send someone to kill me so, I don’t have much time left. (oh, shit I said it already). Listen carefully, I was informed by my sources that the government was going to transfer the flash drive on which I was recording all my experiences and research results to a specific location that was hidden in a map. You must find my creation and find the coded message. Thanks to this message you will be able find the location where my robot is hidden. He’s got the solution.

 Raphael kills her

Weird noises.

(ambiance sonore terrifiante, tout le monde choisit un son et le répète en boucle)

Scene Two

Samuel, standing in the middle of the stage, looking at the audience candidly : Hello, Hello, Bonjour, Bonjour. How are you doing ? Oh, you know what ? I don’t care. People tell me their problems all day long. Moi je, moi je. I broke up with my girlfriends. I shot my dad in the chest. I have been drinking the water from the toilet. I don’t wanna hear your problems. I got problems too. Oh yea, I’m sorry (silence) You don’t know me. I am the bartender. (fait le son de tout à l’heure, celui en boucle) Hello. Hello. Bonjour, Bonjour. I serve potions for Fly, for Love, Anger, Enjoy.. But the best, of the best is the one called Die in Limbo. My last creation. I’ll see who deserves it. I might take it too, after the Love one. Romantic ending, right ?

Scene Three

Lise and Petronille are not friends, they been hanging out.

The bar is a place for strangers too.

Lise, a handful of tissues, black sunglass stick to her face, sobbing in randomly : Bartender ?

No one answers

Petronille, wearing her smartphone, recording everything, she screams as if music was too loud : Hi Babe. (She falls on Lise). Oh, bugger, let’s do it again.

Lise : Why are you screaming ?

Petronille : Cause we are in a club.

Lise : There is no music.

Petronille : They don’t know that. Why are you crying ?

Lise : I’m not.

Petronille : See. “The land of make believe”. Wait. (she presses record again, overacting for the camera) Did Jason do this to you !?

Lise, answering loud too, sobbing : I hate him!

Petronille, suddenly happy : Amazing. Loved it. Great take. What are we drinking ?

(to the bartender) Hey dude. Dude! The guy in sweats. Hey potion guy. Gimme that potion.

Lise, ironical : I don’t think he heard you.

Samuel has been staring at them the whole time.

Petronille, to Lise : He’s kind of cute, right ?

Lise, not screaming anymore : I am crying because Camylia is dead.

Petronille : Who the cloud (pour ne pas dire F***) is Camylia ? (to the bartender) Give us some Loooooove.

Lise : I’ll take a suicide.

Petronille : Can I film it ?

Lise : Sure.

Samuel, joyful : On it’s way !

Scene Four

Raphael has been sitting at the bar this whole time, alone. He stands and come to speak directly to the audience. As he unfolds his speech, he removes one sweater after another.

Raphael : I am a robot. I been conceived by the professor (he looks at me). Not that one. The one in the video. My main objective is to experiment human life. The professor wants to make a large quantity of copies of myself, to experiment the reaction of the human species facing a large quantity of identical individuals. I also have a counterpart. It was lost – by the professor (he looks at me). Not that one. I am here because the professor accidentally created a program that forces me to kill any person if he does something. Anything at all. I have currently killed one thousand four hundred and seven people.

Behind him Samuel is making potion. He drinks one, gives two to the girls, waits and see.

Petronille drinks her and goes to the robot.

Petronille : Hi, wanna make a selfie ?

Raphael kills her. She records it.

Raphael : I’m so sorry.

At the bar, Samuel and Lise are in love.

Samuel : Qu’est-ce que tu fais dans la vie?

Lise : What ?

Samuel : Oh sorry, you cry for a living ?

Lise : My parents are famous.

Samuel : I see.

Lise : And you ?

Samuel : I’m not real. I made myself with a potion.

Lise : That’s so cool !

Samuel : Actually, it kind of sucks.

Lise : I wanna be unreal too.

Samuel : I made a new one, wanna try ?

Lise & Petronille, at the same time : Sure !

Samuel serves everyone.

Petronille offers her glass to the robot. He kills her again before drinking it, then throws it away.

Lise and Samuel fall asleep on the bar

Raphael looks at the audience with a menacing look. He’s now wearing a sweater with a teddy bear on it.

Although she is dead, Petronille films.

They make weird noises again.

 

The end.